StreetChild;

“I realised heartless wasn’t an evil term to begin with. It’s basically the inability to feel anything.”

“There are two kinds of people in this world, one who backs away from fear and one who lives in fear.”

“Till then, then.”

“… I feel like I’m a killer whale right now. I will go all out to hunt the seals down, toss it around in the waters, with its blood drained into the ocean and slowly watch it die. I’ll leave the carcass behind for the dolphins because devouring it wasn’t the reason why I was roused in the first place. And you, my friend, need to learn to be a killer whale instead of being the seal. See, after being mangled enough times, you will learn to avoid the jaws of the whales.”

“Sometimes I wish I was a tree, so I can stand there and watch the world go by.”

“A tree don’t interest one by its outlook, but by its inner history and deep roots stretching into the ground. I want to know more than what you look like. And we can watch the world go by together and not wondering what went wrong with it.”

I want to be happy again. To run across the fields with echos of laughter ringing in my ears. To have the wind in my hair as I go back to the times I know I can conquer the world. To have the world at my feet and have everything else bow down to me. To be that fearless, free spirited girl who wasn’t afraid to live. To be able to laugh without a care in the world and when others look at me to see the girl with the most beautiful smile. And most importantly to love and not be afraid of finding someone elses hand in mine. And above all, to have that glow, happiness and contentment in me, knowing that I am enough and as long as I keep believing, I will be happy.

“Everyone has deep dark holes to fill. And filling them is not the hardest part. The difficulty is finding what’s in the hole. Or even acknowledging there’s a hole. Because most of the time it’s easy to walk around it. And we can’t fill them with things they’re not meant for.” 

” and I’ve put it all behind me, you’re an old friend now. Still my favourite, kind of.”

“…. anyway, I’ll always see you as a lover, not a friend. Nothing’s changed for me.”

And I left it at that, because we accept the love we think we deserve. 

“I think I’m really fucked up in the head.”

“No. You’re full of love, just lost in some ways.  

The aftertaste of the bitterness of the wine still lingered in my mouth, but this time it was different, no sweaty bodies against one another, loud music and all the alcohol getting wasted. It was just two almost strangers seated across each other, amidst all the paintings with the warm lights and soft music playing behind as we lost count of the glasses we had through the words that flowed easily between us. We were hidden from the world with just a glass separating us as they looked in at us with curious eyes. And when the clock strike 12, I knew I didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t the bad boy in him that kept me wanting more, it was when we both shared a lil bit more about ourselves and I realised he had a heart.. which wasn’t mine to save.

And in that instant, I knew I had to walk away.